So I just found out one of my best friends is gay...

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Skyhunter

TWL Member

2003-05-21 18:30

A guy whom I've hugged...showered with after B-Ball games..etc.

I'm so freaked out right now...

Vash the Stampede

Humanoid Typhoon

2003-05-21 18:31

You're the one who hugged him and you're the one who showered with him...so why you calling other ppl gay?

Skyhunter

TWL Member

2003-05-21 18:32

He openly admitted it. And introduced us to his boyfriend.

Our power forward openly puked on the floor

DoMiNuS

Forum ModeratorBF1942 League Division CoordinatorTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 18:41

unless he made any type of advance towards ya, I don't see what the big deal would be.

kevin184

TWL Member

2003-05-21 18:45

homophobia is gay

ShinShun

Peace 'n LoveTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 18:50

Originally posted by: DoMiNuS

unless he made any type of advance towards ya, I don't see what the big deal would be.

I wouldn't see the big deal even if he had. If he's one of your best friends I would hope you'd support him and quit with this homophobia shit. It's very unbecomming of a good, loving Christian boy.
___

Got ?

Originally posted by: ZUSeaLily

Allah be praised!

12:47:06 [@NMRJock] You'll go hungry trying to feed on the innocent nowadays.

kevin184

TWL Member

2003-05-21 18:53

if he does make an advance, do as jesus says and "turn the other cheek"

ok that was very wrong, im sorry to all who read that

Fury X

TeamWarfare VetTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 18:56

Originally posted by: ShinShun
If he's one of your best friends I would hope you'd support him and quit with this homophobia shit.

Coba|t

Wanna see my Death Star?

2003-05-21 19:02

its hard when you learn something unexpected about a friend that changes the way you think about them, but eventualy youll come to get used to it and forget about it.

82nd Mofo

TeamWarfare Vet

2003-05-21 19:06

He's probably not gay, just a derm.

_daSnake

TWL Member

2003-05-21 19:08

i didn't know guys hugged in rl

pheirce

Tin Foil HatTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 19:17

I would probably feel like I had been lied to and I couldn't trust the guy anymore if my best friend told me after so many years that he was gay.

That doesn't mean it's homophobia.

[v75th]PianoMan

TWL Member

2003-05-21 19:19

Originally posted by: Coba|t

its hard when you learn something unexpected about a friend that changes the way you think about them, but eventualy youll come to get used to it and forget about it.

I agree. It certainly would change your perception of somebody to learn that they are gay, but the feeling of awkwardness will pass.

Edit in response to pheirce: It's not like the guy intentionally hid it from everybody all his life. I mean, imagine how hard it was for him to come to the realization himself. I think the person Skyhunter is talking about is right in waiting until he was comfortable with his own perception of himself until he told the world.
Post edited by [v75th]PianoMan at 5/21/2003 7:22:26 PM

ShinShun

Peace 'n LoveTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 19:25

It not like this culture makes it easy to come out and say it, it's also not something that should be changing of a relationship. There is no good reason things can't continue as they did before, it just requires that the person be secure in his own sexuality and that the other person respect that.

It's also not something people always just know. It could have taken this guy some time to figure it out, get comfortable with it, get the guts enough to say it. There was also nothing that hinted that Sky was lied to. It may be the case he was, but you can't infer that.

And Sky's ending comment of being really "freaked out" was more what I was getting at. That isn't expressive of feeling betrayed, but more disgusted.

Edit: Piano beat me.
Post edited by ShinShun at 5/21/2003 7:25:36 PM

[v75th]PianoMan

TWL Member

2003-05-21 19:28

Originally posted by: ShinShun

It not like this culture makes it easy to come out and say it, it's also not something that should be changing of a relationship. There is no good reason things can't continue as they did before, it just requires that the person be secure in his own sexuality and that the other person respect that.

It's also not something people always just know. It could have taken this guy some time to figure it out, get comfortable with it, get the guts enough to say it. There was also nothing that hinted that Sky was lied to. It may be the case he was, but you can't infer that.

And Sky's ending comment of being really "freaked out" was more what I was getting at. That isn't expressive of feeling betrayed, but more disgusted.

Edit: Piano beat me.

S'ok, you said all the little details I was too lazy to type :P.

Skyhunter

TWL Member

2003-05-21 19:32

Originally posted by: ShinShun

I wouldn't see the big deal even if he had. If he's one of your best friends I would hope you'd support him and quit with this homophobia shit. It's very unbecomming of a good, loving Christian boy.

Don't bring religion into this.

He's still my friend, always will be.

ShinShun

Peace 'n LoveTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 19:35

Sky, I know how strongly you feel about your religion, and it has everything to do with situations like this.

I'll drop it, but you need to consider it.

Skyhunter

TWL Member

2003-05-21 19:42

My religion doesn't view homosexuality approvingly, if that's what you're implying.

^DaNny^

shoot you in bum

2003-05-21 19:46

im just a lurker on these boards but i had the same situation a while ago.. my best friend came out but that didnt change anything in the long run, its normal to be in shock at first but u'll get over it. cuz he is after all your best friend and should continue to be

ShinShun

Peace 'n LoveTWL Contributor

2003-05-21 19:49

It wasn't, actually. I was aiming more for the compassion and loving side of things.

Skyhunter

TWL Member

2003-05-21 19:50

Love him to death. But I'm saddened.

Naut

TWL Member

2003-05-22 17:25

You shouldn't choose your friends by their religion, but keep in your mind that he is sinning by being gay.

-naut

pheirce

Tin Foil HatTWL Contributor

2003-05-22 18:08

Originally posted by: Naut

You shouldn't choose your friends by their religion, but keep in your mind that he is sinning by being gay.

-naut

Depends on the religion. For example, in the Catholic religion it's OK to be gay, but it's not OK to engage in homosexual sex. So to be gay (i.e. attracted to the same sex) is not itself a sin according to Catholic canon.

I'm sure there are many other religions who take this same view.

It's like saying that being an alcoholic is a sin even if the alcoholic never takes another drink (no matter how much he/she may want to).

-pheirce

Naut

TWL Member

2003-05-22 18:12

I was talking to Sky, and he is a Christian (?)

pheirce

Tin Foil HatTWL Contributor

2003-05-22 18:28

Originally posted by: Naut

I was talking to Sky, and he is a Christian (?)

So are Catholics

Hammermagic

TeamWarfare Vet

2003-05-22 18:28

i find it funny that people think that gay guys would acually hit on them. Do you hit on openly gay people male or female? NO! dont flatter yourself. Dont give some lame story where this guy you didnt even know came up and touched your butt, it was probably someone fucking with you or an accident.

What is wrong with hugging or "gasp" kissing another male. i hug and kiss my father all the time since my parents are divorced and i dont see him that much. I hug and kiss my brother and uncles and close cousins. I hug my friends that are guys.

oh the reason why pedophyles and necrophiliacs are disturbing is because they are dealing with people having sexual intercourse with those who dont want it.

also a little tidbit 60% of homophobics are homosexuals in denial,,,,

Mad Monk

Teamwarfare Vet

2003-05-22 18:35

Originally posted by: Skyhunter

Originally posted by: pheirce

Originally posted by: Respice

you missed the point entirely.

In any event your friends shouldn't have to disclose deeply intimate details about themseleves to you, especially if they are struggling to accept them themselves. They don't owe you that. You tell your friends when you are ready and hope they will except you, not turn their back because they weren't notified promptly. True friends would stand by that person.

You want to talk about trust? Why would anyone trust a person who turns a situation like their friend coming out into something about them, and how they were wronged? like you just did. Just shows you are all about you, and I never trust people like that.

I'm pretty sure that my very few very close friends wouldn't conceal anything like that from me. That's what makes us close friends. If they DID hide something like that from me, then I'd have to wonder how close we really are.

-pheirce

Thank you, phierce. Exactly what I was thinking

i'm betting you would have had the same reaction if he had told you as soon as he figured it out himself. the reason he 'hid' it from you was probably because he was thinking that you'd hate him / dislike him / distrust him.

what i want to know is, how does his admitting his homosexuality change anything about him that made you friends in the first place. he has a boyfriend, apparently he's been gay for awhile. yeah, he showered with you after games. so fucking what. at the end of the day he's not saying "damn i'd love to shove my c*ck up his ass." he's saying "fuck, i hope i didn't lose a friend because i came out to someone i trusted."

Respice

BHD Lead AdminTWL Contributor

2003-05-22 18:54

Exactly Monk.

Your friend isn't any different today than he was yesterday or the day before. The only thing that has changed is your knowledge about his sexual orientation.

I think the only thing that would really indicate how "close you were" is how you react. If you turn your back, then yeah, I guess you weren't really that close.

TWL Member

2003-05-22 18:55

Originally posted by: Skyhunter

A guy whom I've hugged...showered with after B-Ball games..etc.

I'm so freaked out right now...

did he look at ur peepee in the shower?

TWL Member

2003-05-22 19:07

Originally posted by: psycore

Originally posted by: Skyhunter

A guy whom I've hugged...showered with after B-Ball games..etc.

I'm so freaked out right now...

Well I hope you dont descriminate against him.

With you being black, im pretty sure you know what its like to be descriminated against.

You should get over it and continue to be friends with him.

whats this? Ive never heard anyone rag on sky for being black. especially not in #rapture
Post edited by JT at 5/22/2003 7:07:52 PM

14v14 classic: Team 311
7v7 classic: Mexijew
12v12 base: Manner Crew

Markopolis

Survivor Fan

2003-05-22 19:18

did he grab your ass while hugging you?

Zombee

LT Development Team

2003-05-22 19:33

Originally posted by: DoMiNuS

unless he made any type of advance towards ya, I don't see what the big deal would be.

Hmmm....

Jack Mehoff

Got Lube?

2003-05-23 01:05

Cut off his penis and install him a vagina

Questor

TOP Site Author

2003-05-23 08:31

Originally posted by: Spamtheman

1st of all you dont have to judge someone to know god disapproves of something someone does. 2nd anyone picketing against anything is retarded imo.

do you want to hang out with a pedophile? a theif? although they are not all the same, you know god disapproves of those things(to the point of having those practicing things of that nature put to death). and dont say god also disapproves of lying(although he does) and try to use a hyperbole to correct me. god destroyed a nation over homosexuality. he tells you not to associate with homosexuals. if god doesnt approve of it why should we?

Because we are not God so we have no right to judge. Your argument is a mere fallacy, however. Would I hang out with a thief, a pedophile, etc.? For all I know, I do hang out with them.

(Btw, please point out to me in the New Testament where it says that one shouldn't associate with homosexuals.)

The point is that I wouldn't necessarily choose to befriend an admitted thief, but if I were close friends with someone and found out, for example, that they were a cleptomaniac I shouldn't (notice I didn't say "wouldn't") disassociate myself based on that knowledge.

Unfortunately, God really "screwed things up" when He said "Love thy neighbor as thyself," because it's a lot harder to do that than it seems.

Originally posted by: Spamtheman

people would rather be P.C., that simple
you do not have to judge people to know what they do is wrong. just the same i dont look down at homosexuals because how they live, like im better or something. but i sure wont show my approval of their life style, by associating with them or defending their life style.

I don't condone the lifestyle either. But I have several gay friends that I refuse to stop being friends with simply so that I can protest.

Hostage #4

TWL Member

2003-05-23 18:43

Fuckin homophobes stfu

black-op

TWL Member

2003-05-23 20:28

to tell you the truth gay people freak me out too.

RenGen

TeamWarfare Vet

2003-05-23 22:13

Originally posted by: Naut

You shouldn't choose your friends by their religion, but keep in your mind that he is sinning by being gay.

-naut

Oh geezus.

RenGen

TeamWarfare Vet

2003-05-23 22:16

Originally posted by: Hostage #4

Fuckin homophobes stfu

That completely sums it up. The reason is irrelevant. For whatever reason, learning that someone is Gay clearly worries you and makes you nervous. This is a stigma that you've been brought up with and completely accepted at this point. In point of fact, if you can't deal with it, it's YOUR problem, and not his. Since he has come out, you should do everything you can to realize that anyone can have a sexual preference that you least expect, even your closest friends. This is an excellent reason to try to get past your fears.

Naut

TWL Member

2003-05-24 00:03

Originally posted by: Hammermagic

i find it funny that people think that gay guys would acually hit on them. Do you hit on openly gay people male or female? NO! dont flatter yourself. Dont give some lame story where this guy you didnt even know came up and touched your butt, it was probably someone fucking with you or an accident.

**Read the bold, must I really comment on this paragraph? rofl!

What is wrong with hugging or "gasp" kissing another male. i hug and kiss my father all the time since my parents are divorced and i dont see him that much. I hug and kiss my brother and uncles and close cousins. I hug my friends that are guys.

**Are you from Arkansas?

oh the reason why pedophyles and necrophiliacs are disturbing is because they are dealing with people having sexual intercourse with those who dont want it.

** You suck at speling.

also a little tidbit 60% of homophobics are homosexuals in denial,,,,

** Go up to six of your friends. Ask them if their gay.
ROFL, think about it.

Naut

TWL Member

2003-05-24 00:08

Originally posted by: Spamtheman
do you want to hang out with a pedophile? a theif? although they are not all the same, you know god disapproves of those things(to the point of having those practicing things of that nature put to death). and dont say god also disapproves of lying(although he does) and try to use a hyperbole to correct me. god destroyed a nation over homosexuality. he tells you not to associate with homosexuals. if god doesnt approve of it why should we?

people would rather be P.C., that simple
you do not have to judge people to know what they do is wrong. just the same i dont look down at homosexuals because how they live, like im better or something. but i sure wont show my approval of their life style, by associating with them or defending their life style.

There are many interpretations of the Bible. It does in fact say somewhere in there about homesexuality being a sin. It does also say in some way not to associate yourself with homosexuals. That is just one interpreation of the Bible, one that I tend to disagree with.

Questor, so if had known someone for a long time - best friends - then find out he was raping kids, you wouldn't go smash the crap out of his face with a baseball bat?

-Naut